Tranquility

It had been a really messed up week for me. I can never adjust to the whirlpool of confusion that life insists on putting me in the middle every time. It really unnerves me, as chaos has never been my good mate.
My relatives keep pushing me to bend to their every will, and shouts bloody murder every time I try to stand my ground. With them breathing down my neck, I have no space to breath, to think, or to even eat.
I wish for tranquility and need for it to be in my life so badly. I guess growing up as an only child meant that I have developed an over sensitivity to chaos. I do not need stability, for that is a 'boring' agenda. What I mean is that I realize for me to truly to be myself, I need to be free and alone, chasing my dreams on my own terms.
Calmly, quietly, silently, I need to be, shifting through my books, on my own, leaving behind forever the selfishness, crudeness, darkened ugly hearts, and cruelty that I keep seeing around me.