A Fairly Boring Yawn Of A Post
I had another dose of stomach ulcer on Tuesday, and after throwing up several times, I stayed away from food until Wednesday, since I was too afraid to go through the process again..However, irregular meal times probably got me into this mess the first place. I guess I should be grateful, that I did not throw up blood as well, like last time, common among stomach ulcer sufferers.
Anyway, my family really pushed me over the edge on Monday, and I had beat myself up so much that I had skipped meals that entire day, hence the excoriating ulcer attack on Tuesday. I am seeing a very bad pattern as I write this.. My friend Tee, from back when I was in high school, used to joke that my family "gave me" my stomach ulcer.
Anyway, the "Hill Billy clan" of the country club version that is my family stayed clear of my presence the minute they found out I was sick. Not a peep, not even to check if I was alright. 2 days of breathing space barely. Then, as color started returning to my acne scarred cheeks, the good folks started making cacophony again. So, I figured I only could get rid of their suffocating presence, for a little while at least, by doing all their chores they put put me up to.
So, I will be busy from Friday, and the rest of month probably, running about town doing the daily grid of mindless monotony. I have work chores to do starting from the bank, which I hate going to on Friday because of the crowd.
Yeah, I have exams to study for too. Somehow along these few days, I got into being convinced that I should shelve taking those exams to November, and the work I was put up to has more urgency to it.
Not eating led to my ears started ringing, and on Thursday 6 a.m, I felt so hungry uncontrollably that I tore up 3 mini packets of pre-packed crackers and gobbled up 18 biscuits. I am so hungry that I could eat a tofu version of a horse right now. "Can't say a real one since I am a vegan".
I know my posts have been too negative these couple of days. I considered taking them of but then left them be in the end. Those posts are just records of how I feel at different moments of my life. Hope you all do not get too fed up with me.
I recently finished reading "The House of Seven Gables by Nathaniel Hawthorne, as beginning on my plan in getting in touch with the Classics in English Lit. during my gap time from college.
I am reading Joseph Conrad's "Heart of Darkness" from tomorrow. I am avoiding Faulkner's work for now even though a commenter had suggested that I read "As I Lay Dying", very apt with my crazy situation :). Perhaps much much later.

4 comments:
You're absolutely positively allergic to that family..that's the cause of your sickness. :)
I wish you'd tell them to SHUT IT! And they'd just leave you alone..you don't deserve this..they may have lost a brother, but you lost a dad,,they shouldn't treat you like shit..they should take you in their wings, and care for you..
you're strong..don't give up on your dreams..promise?
Always,
Crusty~
Hang in there Kyrie,
I worked so hard to get my college degree (which is a Social Science degree) and I still feel like the future is a big yawning void in front of me at times. It's just the way it is sometimes. The dark and the light ebbs and flows, you just have to keep yourself moving forward even if it is only small steps.
I also have a "bad stomach" from years of stress. My body can no longer handle it. You have to take care of you. Maybe you need some time away from your family, they sound rather toxic. Mine was like that. It was struggles to moving 365 miles away from everything I knew and survive, but eventually, things turned around and it was the best decision I ever made. Since I proved my family's low expectations wrong, they don't question my motives anymore. They just sit back in awe.
-P
Hey Kyrie! Hope you're okay! No postings since the 20th? I'm off, right?
How's your tummy?
Sending warm smiles from Chitown!
Always,
Crusty~
Crusty,
I promise!
Proxima blue,
Thank you for understanding, and sharing. Yes, you are right. I have to keep moving forward, however small those steps I take may seem.
Thanks again for stopping by.
It is really helpful to know someone else gets my situation.
Crusty,
The ulcer is still giving me grief (:.
i forced myself to eat properly though today.
I kept wanting to update my posts. I will come up with a proper one soon. The above post is an in-between.
Thank you for the warm smiles :) I do need thm today.
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