Peace and Fears

Almost usually everyday I wake up with this feeling that sth bad is going to happen today. Some days this feeling is stronger than other days. I guess all the stuff that happened after my dad's death created this fear within me. Of course, I wish that there are more days void of such fears within my head.
This week had been totally chaotic making many of those fears almost becoming real. But I am kinda depressed now 2 talk bout it. At the end of Friday the 13th, I am totally broke and kinda launching myself on a pity trip n totally feeling sorry for myself.
Anyway, I just wish for more calmer times. I don't mind being broke anyway since I have always preferred a basic minimal lifestyle. All I wish for is for more peaceful days. Many people complain about being lonely n alone but I truly find that loneliness n solitude have a strange captivating beauty that I fully enjoy. I always try to seek solitude for the satisfying peace it offers.
I have seen enough of people n the troubles they create to know tht if I want to chart the course of my ambition, the best answer is following the path dominated by loneliness n solitude so I can finally be the captain of my life's own course.