Empty
I wish time doesn't keep on moving so quickly. Curtains being drawn on another year yet again makes me depressed. I am not so hyped about Christmas coming closer since it means time is running out each day. I wish I just can make everything stand still, maybe since the near future seems so aimless and void for me right now. All I seem to be staring is emptiness straight ahead.
I seem to be leading a meaningless life, just wandering by, a meaningless existence.
A paradox my life is, complicated and the same time ludicrously empty and menial.
I am not putting any decorations this year. Lost the mood, don't even feel I have anything to celebrate for. Last week, I went to the spare room where my plastic Christmas tree was stored, and that is when I discovered smelly yellow water dripping from the roof had totally soaked the tree. I don't have the energy to clean out the damage right now. My another problem is should I get a repair guy to look at the roof since the drip has become more like a continuous mini rain that has stained the roof pretty ugly. And I am not sure why large dark spots are appearing there as well. Should I just live with the damage, why waste the money? The floor is always wet in the room, another bathroom is almost unusable with burst pipe/tank? I am not sure, all I know I have not entered that flooded bathroom in 5 months. So, I am always holed up only in this only livable room right now besides the living room where I rarely spend time.
Got my exam results right before the holidays started. I supposed I did alright but it is not great results. I knew I could have done better and that really hurts. Ah well.
Did errands for my relative lady yesterday, a one hour trip that became 4 hours to the supermarket in the middle of the mean holiday crowd that shoved and pushed like crazy, not caring who they crash into. An energy draining trip (:
2 comments:
Well, I am thinking of you and wishing you the very best of Christmases. I wish we could have a blog christmas where we all get together, drink spiced tea and coffee, and laugh and talk. I would do my best to make you smile and laugh my friend. Take care of yourself and always email me if you need a real friend to talk to. I do care very much about how you are doing.
Jonathon Andrew
Hey Kyrie. You talked about water leaking and having water problems. I would try and get this looked at if you can. Old water can lead to mold and mildew, which can then lead to some major health concerns. Just be careful, cuz' we would hate to see you sick.
Yes, another year is passing. Time does move too quickly. You are not a meaningless existence. You are a very bright young woman who is so smart. Don't forget that.
I hope you have a very Happy Christmas. I am so very glad I found your blog.
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