Just Some Weird Musings On My Health

I am not sure when this damn coughing fits will cease. I really feel tired and my weird insomniac sleep cycle was even more disturbed when I kept waking every 1/2 hour to coughing fits. There were even more gory details on Sunday regarding my current flu bout but I think my Saturday's post was disgusting enough.

I was not up to having lunch today and only had some soup and bread for supper.
I am not sure why I keep falling sick like this year. Healthwise, I lead a pretty healthy lifestyle (of course I can never resist Pepsi and strawberry ice-creams!). I have been a full vegetarian for 2 years right now, never drank a drop of alcohol in my life, and I never ever smoked. However, you could say I was second hand smoker since my late dad used to smoke his pipe like a chimney (he used to make up stories that he was Popeye the Sailorman when I was a kid!).

I guess I am getting too depressed about my future and that is making me sick.

When I used to attend church, some of the church elders and an old friend from high school convinced me I should fast so that my prayers to enter med school and all my other problems can be answered. So I fasted for 4 weeks, everyday breaking the fast at 8pm with bread and coffee. Finally, I ended with stomach ulcer and vomiting blood. The gastric is still around but I guess my faith is not that strong as before. I used to pray and read the bible for 3 hours everyday back in the days when my dad just died. I am trying to pray again but usually I give up half way through. Somehow, I have lost track of that religious side of me after so many trials. Another part of me that I guess I have to find again but it will be a slow process and I know I will not be attending church anytime soon.

When I fell sick last week, I started getting delirious images of my old life back when my dad was alive which was just simple. Wishing for the simple life I can never have again and came back to consciousness with gentle tears. I wished to be the 7 year old again running around blissfully among the many the chickens, rabbits, and various fowls my father used to keep. I wished to be 5 year old living and playing in the old hill I used to live surrounded by a strange but beautiful forest. (My dad's work took us to live in many rural areas when I was young)

Reality check 1, 2, and 3. Wake up Kyrie. Stop being so childish. Seriously I am a big kid at heart. This is just between me and my dear readers, I still watch cartoons. Gasp!

Anyway, I guess I am not the picture of health physically, spritually and mentally. In short, I am a mess. Yeah even my physical appearance. I am always keep wearing the same old 3 smelly black t-shirts and a jeans which is a bit more cleaner! My hair is a uncombed mess with an undefined shape most of times which I hide under my baseball cap! I suppose I should try make an effort with all this one day but I hate wearing skirts and I do not want to look all sweet and nice!