My Screaming Relatives

I was a total basket case these past few days. My hands were shaking and and I was completely on the edge. The only thing that could evoke such a reaction from me was of course MY RELATIVES. Every time one of thm decides to drop on me, it will be hours of verbal abuse and mental torture. Hence killing my capacity to think and function normally for weeks as the hurt they caused on my mental stability will be to much to bear for any normal human.
I still have not recovered from their last visit in December and the damage caused on my sanity and my life. Uncle Nick had dropped by a couple of hours before a major exam that I was going to take. I had just received a full scholarship offer a few weeks before and one of the criteria was I must take tht major exam. Uncle Nick, started his tirade of verbal abuse that turned me into emotional jelly-o and tears started coming out however hard I tried to prevent thm. I always tell myself I must not give these people the pleasure of seeing me cry but they are just too much for me to handle. Ever since my dad died this has been the same routine. Uncle Nick, will turn even hv the courtesy to email or write for months but suddenly he will show up announced and start one of his verbal attacks. On tht particular a day in December, after enduring hours of cruel attacks, I told him I have a 4 hour exam tht determines my scholarship acceptance.
"Exam? What exam? Big deal! You always keep taking exams. I don't care about your stupid exams!" he screamed.
I was prevented from taking the exam in the end as he he only left after making me endure his tirade of cruel words. I did not get the scholarship. Try explaining problematic relatives as a excuse to take the exam again! No one will buy it. That day caused me a lot. I had thought after going so much hardship for so long, the scholarship will finally end all my problems but thanks to my uncle it was not meant to be. My crazy relatives have the weirdest way of screaming and shouting like some group of uneducated people but alas my uncle Nick himself is a high ranking university professor and holds a prestigious position in his church. He is a distinguished member of society. But how come he does not know how to talk with compassion to his dead brother's only daughter? I guess he thinks his money and status gives him the right to treat others anyway he likes. He will stop by announced and will not leave until he got the satisfaction of hurting me with his cruel words, words tht will keep haunting me for months. "Without me your father would hv been nothing, he was a debt ridden loser, " Uncle Nick will shout whn I try to talk back.
"You are an ungrateful girl", he will scream.
"Dont talk back, I cant even stand your voice or your face," he will scream again.
I than patiently will have to listen to his long screaming tirades. Sometimes witch aunt and her husband, Uncle Tim will come together with Uncle Nick and all of their screams put together will make me wish I was dead instead of my dad. I loved my dad dearly but after his death, ever since my teenage years, my dad's relatives have made go through hell.
A few days ago, I received a call that Uncle Tim and some other relatives were dropping by again. I became so upset that I lost sense of everything. I wandered around the mall, confused and scared, for hours thinking how am I going to face their verbal attacks again. They had made me lose my confidence and my trust in my fellow human beings since my teens. I had become scared to socialize and avoided social gatherings and kept my distance from society in general. I withdrew from even my close friends that I grew up with. The emotional scares my relatives caused were just too much. I know I had reached my breaking point now. One of these days in the very near future my relatives are going to actually make me go insane. I just wish I can run away. I cant hold myself together anymore. I feel my body shaking like hell. I keep dropping things. I become jumpy at anything. Every second I keep imagining my cell phone in my bag is vibrating and they are calling me. I keep imagining hearing them knock on my door or honing their car in front but when I rush to check, the sounds were either from my neighbour's place or other times it was due to an overactive mind. My relatives are making me lose it completely.