Impressions Of The Cynical Kind

" What are you doing right now?"
"Well, I am taking some time off from college." Of course, I cannot go and launch my whole life story together with this answer, and thus to arrive at why I am on the gap year.
I never told people what is going on, even when I was going through my own personal hell after my dad died as my relatives stood by as the gatekeepers of the hell. "Will anyone have bothered, would my teachers have cared ?" I had thought. After all, I saw the worst side of people at an age when only innocence and youthful ambivalence should have governed. My relatives were from the upper class of society, deacons of churches, and chaired various charities, all in the name of keeping appearance, and they made it a point the very next morning after my dad died to tell everyone who came to pay their last respects that I have become a charity case and will become indebted to them.

So, back to the point. Why should I start telling anyone now why I am in my current predicament of being in a gap year yet again ? However, people seem to come up with rash and judgmental reactions without knowing the whole story.
Kyrie is too lazy, Kyrie is bumming her life away, Kyrie is good at wasting her time, and Kyrie is good at finding excuses or Kyrie is good at doing totally useless stuff are usually the reactions that are not so tactfully shown across their faces or voices or spoken words.
Sometimes I mope around when I am faced with these reactions, and other times I am just too numb too care.

I had needed some important forms and Miss Moira from the college administration office emailed me saying she had mailed them to me. I waited and waited and after 2 weeks, I finally thought, "Come on, I should not be expecting this worst from the postal service".
I always thought Miss Moira was kind of prejudiced of me (due to my records showing me taking gap years in HS than in college), but she never had showed it. I emailed her asking about the forms, and she irritatingly answered back, "It is not my fault you did not receive the forms". She made it sound in her email like I was making the whole thing and that I had already received the forms.
After some emails of me begging for another set, "Okay fine I will send you another. I hope you do not lose this one, " came back her email finally.

I finally received the forms yesterday, but only half of them. I need the forms to register for some exams I wanted to take on my own for extra credits by doing self study this gap semester.