Headache, Thou Art My Constant Companion

My head is not working the way it should be right now. I just can't seem to get rid of this bloody migraine, and I just can't the life of me remember the last time I was headache free in these past few weeks.
Today, the air is crisp and cool. For the first time in these last few few months, I am not running around like a headless chicken rushing to meet scholarship deadlines, cramming for exams, worrying about what new tantrums my relatives are going throw my way, and rushing to finish continuous errands and responsibilities.

Aah responsibilities..
When my dad died, all the people I cared about abandoned me, but then after time has passed, when they needed something, I was the first one they thought of and I will accept it as my responsibility to help them, even though they all had let me down during the times when I needed them. I am that dependable. Guess what is written in my recommendation letters by my old high school teachers: "One of the most responsible students I ever met" is usually the line I saw. And it will go on and on about how I am always there for my classmates. This is the point where I should be asking, "Then who is there for me? Who can I depend on?", but I am not asking. I have reached the point of not caring anymore over such issues. In fact, what I strongly feel is that I never ever want to depend on anyone. If this brings me to the of being a hermit or a loner one day, I don't mind. One day, I hope to be thought of as being fiercely independent.

So as I said, I will always find myself busy until recently that is. Enjoy the moment I tell myself, as it would not last. Like everything else.

Errand and responsibilities are already creeping up again. Give me a minute, I need to catch my breath, bask in this short lived care free moments.

While it had been a 'joy' tutoring junior high 'angels' algebra and calculus, and I have been tutoring kids since I was in junior high myself, I think I should it is time for me to spread my wings though. I am thinking of working in an environment that is more connected with my academic interests. There is this hospital (a famous cardiovascular center) where there is a good chance I can get some work (and soak in the aura there), but the only glitch is the 2 1/2 hours of commuting to get there. I am also scouting for lab work. I am going to send out a couple of resumes next week but since I live in a hick town, all these job opportunities are quite far and I will be crazy tired with all the commuting. But truthfully most of these jobs I am trying out does not pay much with my kind of qualifications (thank goodness for the money my late father had left me arranged as monthly allowances, not much but more than enough for the simple lifestyle I always prefer). However, I am prepared to work for zilch because it is experiences I am after, to work in a health or science field.

Well right now, I feel I have completely forgotten Chemistry, and this headache is making feel even more stupid since it is impeding my thinking process as I try to study.