Confidence Killer

I think I actually managed to fry a couple of my brain cells last week! I had been playing computer games non-stop the whole week after I finally made peace with the fact that I have to take time off from attending the ivory tower. I wanted some distraction after reaching this point, and I guess I went overboard on the gaming thing.
My dad used to complain that he regretted getting me a PC way when I was in middle school (almost a life time ago!) because I was perpetually glued to the contraption playing games. I guess that rebellious long forgotten adolescent side within me got unleashed full force I last week. I locked myself in my room, forget my meals and sleep, and went on a 48 hours computer game rampage! Finally on Saturday, I came out dazed and glassy eyed and totally fed up with the whole thing in the end.
My dad used to claim that my gaming obsession when I was a kid caused our PC to break down every few months. (That old PC finally ended up in the junkyard.)

Anyway, I decided that this is not the way I want to spend the rest of my gap year from college, filling my time with that type of mindless activities, killing my neurons up there along the way. And I certainly don't want Telemundo to be only thing that I have to look forward to during this time. My self confidence has already taken a huge beating over the years, especially every time when I reminisce on the deprecating insults that my relatives used to throw my way, so I know I will feel like even more of a big loser if I am not doing anything productive this gap year.
I am already avoiding most of my old friends because I won't able to bear to hear yet another "So what are you doing with yourself right now?" question. I used to move in a highly competitive crowd of friends growing up, and with this people if you have not reached a certain degree of success at a certain time, you are considered a loser, a pariah even. My dad had made sure I attended middle and high schools with a highly competitive academic atmosphere so naturally my childhood friends came from this pool of irritatingly high achievers early in life, and of course I have been branded a pariah among them today.

Anyway, back to my plans for this gap year. I decided to take one or two classes (most probably math n chemistry stuff) at the local community college for extra credits. I have to check my budget and what I can afford. I have already dusted back my Chem textbook last weekend.

I am meeting with my old college counsellor next week to take some forms from her and pick her brain for some ideas. An overachieving guy emailed me suggesting that I can retake some standardized exams the college bound kids take just to increase my scholarship chances. He has been on a full ride in college and he came up with this brilliant idea. "There is nothing wrong with your scores, but it never hurts to make you resume look extra shiny!" he wrote. I was not keen on sitting in a exam center with a group of teenagers, and the having the teacher in charge looking at my exam ticket with curiosity. However I did not dismiss the idea, and I have been sitting on this crazy suggestion for a few days already. I told myself I should not care what others think, and if taking these exams could help, I should seriously consider the option.

Addendum: I have added a poll on the side bar for fun. Feel free to submit your votes!